THE PROM DRESS

I love my prom dress! I remember my mom walking in the store and immediately pointing to the gown and saying "That's your dress!" My mom, a former beauty queen and mother of six daughters. Needless to say she was right. 

This is just a one of the many great memories from this dress. Nonetheless, I knew when I kept it , it wouldn't be for the memories but rather, the idea to some day pass it down.

In Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up she emphasizes that "Someday never comes". This rang true for me when I realized my prom dress had been hanging in my closet for the past 10 years collecting dust and would continue to stay there until my future daughter(s) would come of age. 

Marie went on to say, "If you want to give something away don't push people to take it unconditionally or pressure them by making them feel guilty". I re - read this line several times and a series of memories flooded my mind. 

You see, I come from a big family, hand me downs were our livelihood. If something couldn't fit you would pass it down to the next sibling. Instant NEW wardrobe! People always were constantly giving items to us. While thoughtful, I always felt compelled to say I love it when asked if I liked it. I didn't want to bear the guilt of me telling them no and being upset. 

Which brings me back to my prom dress... Did I want to make my future daughter(s) feel guilty for not wanting my prom dress? 

How to Say NO

If someone asks you if you want something, be honest. I know first hand how hard it is to say no. Especially people who are close to us. Truthfully, saying yes really means yes I will keep this in a box in a faraway shelf in the attic. Say it with me! No, I don't want your discarded items.

Also, don't impose your items on others. Donate them or skillfully determine if someone you know would like them. It’s okay if the person you have in mind says no.  

When I know I want to get rid of an item and I have an inkling that one of my sisters may be interested I usually send a message in the family group chat...I am donating this or selling this ... ! 

Usually I get a response in ALL CAPS, NO, I WANT IT. DON'T SELL IT! 

This option allows them to tell you they want an item and removes the pressure of what if they say no.